If you didn’t know it, everyone who goes to a concert has a specific animal that lines up with who they are at the show. Below is a list of 11 that lay out the basics.
Which are you?
This majestic animal is the tallest of all concert-going animals. If you are one of these tall beauties, you’re going to be looked up to, in more ways than one.
Positives: No matter where you’re at during the show, you’re going to be able to see.
Negatives: No matter where you’re at during the show, you’re probably going to block someone’s view.
Rockstars of the concert-going animal kingdom. Throughout every show, no matter if you know the lyrics or not, you’re going to be found singing along with the band.
Positives: Birds are known for almost always having a good time. Just looking at you, people can watch the smiles flow… like the lyrics you may or may not know.
Negatives: At the end of the night, you are often found with no voice left.
You sweet lil’ animal you. Mice are often found circling the outside of the show, against the walls, and in corners. If you get to the center for any reason, you’re often in the shadow of larger animals.
Positives: While quite small, you often have no problem ducking in and out of crowds. Many concert-goers are fans because of your skill in beer runs.
Negatives: Mice are often lost in the crowd if you’re not loud enough or grabbing another animal’s hand.
RAWR! You’re called the kings and queens of the concert-going animal kingdom for a reason. You walk into the venue like you own the place and can become very loud throughout shows professing how much of a lion you are.
Positives: You’re a proud animal and ready to rage.
Negatives: Prone to fighting with other lions and smaller animals.
These concert animals will be at the front of the venue no matter the consequences. You’ll use your horns, body, and pure animal aggression to move through crowds like nobody’s business. If you’re not a ram, be careful about getting in front of one.
Positives: You’ll see the band up close and personal. If you’re not a ram and grab onto one, you can often join them at the front.
Negatives: Other animals are often annoyed by you climbing to the front, between them and the show.
Big, angry, and very protective. You are ready to rock, which can be a good thing and a bad thing depending on which side of the table you’re on.
Positives: You’re extremely protective concert animals.
Negatives: If someone bothers your cubs, you will fight them.
In the concert animal world, sheep will only go to shows that are very popular. If friends are going to a small indie act, you will most likely “have other plans.”
Positives: If the show is at a stadium, you’ll be the first to get in line.
Negatives: If you haven’t heard of the band, you’ll most likely miss out on the show.
If the venue has a bar, fish are ready to drink. It’s not your fault that you were born in the water, but you are going to try and drink all of it and walk on two feet. To be clear, the water in this story is alcohol. You drink a lot of alcohol.
Positives: You’re ready to drink with anyone who wants to.
Negatives: You’ll drink more than everyone else (and all their friends).
The wise old owl knows about every band that’s ever been a band. If it’s a rare track off a 1968 vinyl that only has ten pressings, you’ve heard it. You liked your friend’s favorite band before they even heard of them.
Positives: Your music knowledge is insane and you have a true love of music.
Negatives: Those who hang out with you are often wrong. About everything. All the time.
In the water, these animals are graceful and sleek, but on land, they’re unfortunately very slow. You are all about going to shows with whoever wants to go, but unfortunately, you will be late, and it will most likely be awkward.
Positives: You’ll eventually get to the show. Sometime.
Negatives: You’re late… right now, for the next show you’re considering going to.
The Honey Badger
As we’ve all come to know and love, honey badgers don’t care. You will go to any show, at anytime, anywhere. You might be at a show right now.
Positives: You will go to the show.
Negatives: You will go to ANY show.
It’s likely that you read through this and said to yourself, “I’m a honey badger and a bear,” and that’s okay, you’re just a hybrid honey-bear. Or maybe a giraffe, mouse, and a turtle; a turgirouse. These hybrids have become more and more popular over the years, and that’s okay.
Tell us who yours is on Twitter.
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