So, let’s go on the other side of things and talk about the best people. The one’s who truly shine in a room of darkness (but not like, too dark, just like… ugh… read below).
- Extra Ticketer… If you didn’t buy the tickets and someone gave you theirs or had two spots on the list and brought you, this person is your new savior. This person is the reason you’re at the show to begin with and they should have their beer “taken care of.” I don’t know why that’s in quotes, just… get their drinks for them. They’re magical unicorns.
- Beer Fairy… Speaking of which. The beer fairy, that beautiful person who procures a beer for another and like a phoenix rising from the ashes somehow just shows up at the right time, with two beers in hand. We salute you, you gorgeous human being.
- Opening Band… *takes hat off and salutes* The opening band has the hardest job of the night. 1) You probably don’t know them. 2) You probably haven’t had any beer to loosen the judgement glasses. 3) They may/may not have stage presence early in their career. No matter what they play, how they play it, or if you like it, they’re some of the best people at the show.
- Headliner… Think about it. It’s gotta be stressful being the headliner. The main act. The reason many of those in attendance are there to begin with. Don’t mess up. Don’t let your voice crack. Play all the right notes. Don’t fall OFF the stage. Don’t fall ON the stage. How these majestic rock gods even remember the lyrics to their songs is beyond me.
- Sound Person… Check. Check. 1. 2. Is this thing even on? A lot of the time, this is the unknown hero at every show. Even if you don’t know them, see them, or hear from them. They’re making sure (most of the time) that your favorite artists sound good (or as good as they possibly could). *tips hat* Thank you for making the show rock (if indeed, it should be rocking and/or rolling).
- Bartender… ‘Cause, seriously? How do these incredible humans do what they do? When there’s hundreds of people running up to them every few seconds asking for something and over the noise of the show, they somehow get you the drink you asked for. Thank you for your service. Tip them well, people.
- Wingperson… Without this wonderful sidekick, you probably wouldn’t have the cajones to chat up that lovely young lady/man in the front row, but they told you to and supported you in the search for your lifelong concert buddy. Well played Wingperson, well played.
- Fans who don’t wear the shirt of the band… I’m sorry. I truly am. But the 95% of people who don’t wear the shirt of the band you’re seeing RIGHT NOW are the real winners. If you’re at a show to see a band, don’t wear the shirt of that band. We know you like them. You’re there. Wear something else. Anything else. Wear the band shirt tomorrow.
- Homebase… The person who stands, wide-legged and elbow ready, so that you can head to the bathroom, grab a beer, or whatever it is you do at concerts when there’s not music, and holds your spot for you. “Homebase” if you will. I like you. Do you like me? Circle: (Yes) (No) (Maybe)
- Appropriate Conversationalist… There are times at a show where the worst person around you is the one trying to have a conversation while you’re trying to hear the music. Screaming into the willing aural receptacle of their friend. The “appropriate conversationalist” is the one who knows when to chat you up and when to enjoy the music. High five, You!
- Bouncer/Door Person… I know you know I’m over 21, but you’re going to check my ID anyway. Before I even get through the door, I get a compliment. I feel like I’m doing alright in the grand scheme of things, and it’s because of you. Also, you throw out the rowdy people who may harm me. You’re the best.
- Pure Awe… You beautiful snowflake. This is the person who’s just enamored by everything that the band is doing and you can see it all over their face. Their eyes are shimmering like a mountain lake. If this person is you, that’s incredible, enjoy. But if it’s someone else, stand back a lil’ and just enjoy both the show and their beautiful reaction to it.
Who else we got? Am I missing anyone?
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